As individuals, we are so much harder on ourselves than any other person ever could be. I am astounded at the harsh words I can speak to myself and just how high I have set the bar on what is expected of me…. it seems, from me. Who am I comparing myself to? Who is asking these impossible feats of me? When did perfection become such a regular word in my vocabulary? All these questions are deserving of careful consideration…

Contrary to moving away from conformity and the voices of those whose words I believed in the past – it seems I have an incredible ability to carry these voices with me. They have travelled with me, playing as a silent but constant record in the background of my life – long after the events and people have left my reality.

I have caught myself in the very act of self judgement many times over. Judgement for any behaviour or thought falling outside of the parameters of what I deem to be acceptable. It seems I have given myself no leeway for mistakes or simple human error – for this is what I am, human – with all the trappings and emotions that go with this. Indeed, this is after all what we are here for, to experience what it is to be human, to enjoy the beauty and joy that is life and to learn from mistakes made with the intention to evolve and grow from these experiences.

I have the ability to speak to myself in a way that I would not dream of speaking to another. Is this practising loving kindness? It absolutely is not. There is a compassion that must be cultivated for ourselves, by ourselves, if we are to blossom, grow and move out of pattern behaviour. This compassion allows us room to grow, the space to simply be, as and who we are, without labelling ourselves bad and wrong and somehow defective. This compassion will allow us to escape the confines and walls we have built around ourselves and the distorted view of who we have believed ourselves to be. Perfection, or at least what we can believe to be perfection, just does not exist.

I have been sitting with all of this after encountering a particularly challenging situation this week where I moved into a level of reaction which was not altogether comfortable for me and certainly did not fit into my idea of living spiritually. I witnessed myself move through this reaction and straight into a place of negative self talk, which is indeed a form of violence to oneself, which also did not sit comfortably with me. After taking some time for reflection, and therefore creating the space and distance between myself and the experience, I allowed the gift of choice to flow in. Do I choose to stay in a place of negativity and self blame or do I choose to practice loving kindness and acceptance for all the parts that make up who I am? Gratefully, I chose love, love for myself and for another and within this choice there was the space to move out of self blame and negativity and view the situation through entirely new eyes, allowing me to show up differently and come to a place of peace – for the situation and within myself.

I believe that we are never given more than we can handle and that every situation, person and experience, be it good or bad, comes to us as an opportunity to grow ourselves stronger and wiser and I absolutely know that these experiences and indeed life, flow with greater ease when we allow love to sit in the driver’s seat. I allow myself the space for human error, I allow myself to sometimes get it ‘wrong’ and I allow myself the choice to show up differently so I may create a wonderful reality, a reality that is more in alignment with who I know myself to be.

I may not be perfect, but I am most definitely imperfectly perfect and that, is good enough for me!

With love
Emma

What better day than valentines to give myself a special gift – the gift of Self love.

On a day when words of love and affection are being exchanged between lovers, flowers and gifts are winging their way to various destinations and evenings out will be enjoyed in romantic settings there is an opportunity here to gift OURSELVES with words of love and appreciation – in acknowledgement for who we are.

We have heard countless times that to live a life full of joy, abundance and deep fulfilment, with an open and happy heart, we must learn first and foremost to love ourselves. This is indeed a timeless truth and of the utmost importance if we are to live fully, to embrace life with both hands and enjoy the ride. For it is only through truly loving ourselves, all parts of ourselves, even the parts we’d happily lock away and deny, that we truly become ourselves and show up fully.

Today I recognise the woman I am. I recognise that I have shown up and continued to forge my way forward even when the going got tough and tough it got! I recognise that although I do not always have the answers and the path is not always clear, I still show up – willing to do what needs to be done, ready to face the day and brave the unknown. I recognise that even though next steps are sometimes hazy and life sometimes throws a curve ball, I hold on to my vision and I do not give up. I recognise that although I do not always get it right, I do my best to learn from the experience, knowing that next time I’ll do it ‘better’, with greater consciousness and I recognise that all the while – through the ups and downs, through the joys and sorrows, through the clarity and the haze, I am imperfectly perfect and exactly who I am is more than enough.

There is no one to compare myself to – no one else I need to be, nothing I need do differently… for simply who I am and where I am is exactly perfect and within this knowledge there is no judgement, no harsh words of self punishment, no frustration that I ‘should be here or there’, but simply recognition and acceptance that I am doing my best with the tools I have and this is absolutely enough.

So today let’s practice the art of Self love. Use today as an opportunity for reflection and acknowledgement for where you’ve been and where you are today. What do you recognise about yourself? Can you show yourself compassion? Can you get out of your own way and give yourself a break? Look in the mirror and really SEE the person staring back at you – appreciate yourself and see how very far you have come – because you have; You have ridden the waves, navigated unchartered territory and still, you are here. You are still standing, showing up and still very much on the journey. And in recognition of the path you have already walked, see yourself as the strong and powerful force that you are and for every part of you that makes you, you. Say thank you. You are a miracle and anything you desire to have or create is open to you as you come to fully accept and love yourself… just the way you are.

There is no one in this universe more deserving of your love, than you.

Happy valentine’s day and much love from my heart to yours.

Emma

I am feeling inspired and delighted that I have at last taken a step forward towards showing up fully as my Self to come out from being a ‘legend in my living room’ to becoming generative in creating a platform and online presence.

With the amazing resource that is the internet, there is just so much opportunity available to all of us to connect with others and form community, not just within the parameters of our homes and towns but globally – this is just so exciting! I have had a sense for a while now that it is time for us all to come together in partnership to support one another with all of our many varied gifts and talents and what an opportunity we have here and now. At no other time have we been able to reach so many people and at such record speed!

I hired London Digital PR to provide me with a full-on training in social media and introduce me to all the tools and resources that are available through the internet and I am full! The information I have been given is inspiring. This is not just about becoming internet savvy but also about loving ourselves enough to come out of hiding to take a peek above the parapet and break down the self constructed walls we have built up around ourselves as a way to keep us protected.

We all have unique gifts and talents to offer others and the world misses out when we do not show up fully and shine our light. Yes, it can feel scary and somewhat daunting, but to risk is to grow. To move out from our comfort zone is where the real growth lies. To hide ourselves is a tragedy, others miss out when we shy away from our own light.

The beautiful quote from Marianne Williamson is a favourite of mine:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Marianne Williamson

Humanity misses out when you do not show up, do you dare to risk?

Jump and the net will appear….

With love

Emma