Fear and Pushing Your Edges

What does it mean to feel uncomfortable? And what is that feeling of uncomfortability? We’ve all experienced it – pushing yourself to do something you really don’t want to. The date with the guy you’re not sure of, speaking in front of others, allowing yourself to voice that thing you may have been holding back or even walking into a room of people you do not know. We have all felt the desire to run. The, at times, overwhelming need to bolt and head for the door. We each have our ‘personal edges’ that only we know about. Those things that feel just a little ‘too much’.

This is relevant to me after a meeting with someone that could have been an opening to something special, but which felt ‘uncomfortable’ at the time. I had a feeling it was important to attend, but it felt as though every cell in my being was screaming at me to abandon ship! I have been aware that my growth has often been held back by my wanting to stay ‘comfortable’ and ‘safe’. I also know that to evolve and grow, we must wander into unchartered territory and see what’s waiting for us on the other side of our fear. For what is fear? The answer… a simple, little thought that has gathered momentum and strength in our buying into it. We give power to that which we take seriously. We have built our identities over our lives and some things just don’t feel possible or desirable to us. Speaking in front of people? No way!! Asking for that pay rise? I’ll just budget better. Telling someone I’m unhappy with the way they treat me? Sod it, I’ll just let it slide and choke down the words. But, what if… what if we simply felt the fear and did it anyway? What if we recognised that uncomfortable feeling as the brain doing its best to keep us safe by screaming “Don’t. Do. It” otherwise you’ll… you’ll what? Grow? Evolve? Lay boundaries? Advance? Enhance the relationships in your life?

It’s easy to live small – to stay safe and hide behind our thoughts of ‘I can’t, I won’t or I don’t want to’. But consider, all of these thoughts are just that. Thoughts. They’re not real. Just illusionary limitations, self imposed prison cells. What if you heard these thoughts and said “so what?” If you saw them and paid them absolutely no attention? They come in, they register and if left alone, they leave as quickly as they came. Harmless little imaginings that bear no weight. Fear isn’t real. The personal and spiritual growth available when you feel the fear and do it anyway is exponential. You do not have to believe ANYTHING you think. It’s so simple that it can feel hard. Just ignore it.

Here’s the thing, we’re all made of the same stuff. It doesn’t make sense that someone can achieve something you cannot. It’s all a state of mind. If you believe you can’t, you can’t. But if you believe you can, well, anything’s possible.

Next time you feel the uncomfortable feeling arising, regardless of the situation, just do it anyway. Watch and see what happens. You will not perish. You will not crumble. You will however, see that nothing has ever stood in your way apart from the belief that something has. You stand to gain every time you push your edges. Every time you say ok, I feel scared but I’m going for it anyway, you grow. You evolve. You will experience a part of yourself that has been waiting for you to push those boundaries and say yes. That fearful thought cannot hang around if you’ve given up paying it attention.

So, next time that fear arises, know it as False Evidence Appearing Real. See it, recognise it and carry on moving forward regardless – your evolution is waiting for you on the other side.